I’ve been enjoying a long four-day weekend, as like a lot of people, I’ve been hoarding my holidays from work.
On Friday, I went to one of my favourite coastal locations, Tynemouth, and enjoyed a breezy walk along the beach, gazing at the waves rolling in, and mingling with lots of pooches springing into the sea and dappling the sand with their little trail of paw prints. There was an abundance of happy vibes all around, and I loved the feeling of the sea air blowing my hair into a tangled mess.
I then swapped my solo seaside adventure for my favourite beauticians in the leafy Newcastle suburb of Jesmond for a mini pamper sesh on Sunday. It was a special package where you could pick and choose two treatments, and I plumped for the facial, and the head, neck and shoulder massage.
Having my face cleansed, exfoliated and moisturised, with oils massaged into my scalp, down my neck, along my shoulders and the top of my arms was unbelievably relaxing, and as it was the morning after the night before (aka the announcement of #Lockdown2) - it was a perfectly timed hour of pure escapism.
My posture is shockingly bad at the moment as I’m hunched over my desk every day, and I could hear a click or two when the beautician was carefully working the knots in my right shoulder.
It was at that moment, while lying under my cocoon of warm cotton towels, my eyes intently shut, that it occurred to me this was the first time I had properly been touched by another human since before lockdown.
Aside from my two-year-old niece grabbing my hand to pull me inside her pink tent to play in her little ball pit, I have had next to no contact with anyone else over the past eight or so months.
This has been really hard as I’m naturally a touchy person - I like to greet my friends with a hug, and after a few cocktails, I’m that girl who likes to playfully touch my friends’ arms or give them a gentle nudge, usually when one of my favourite songs starts playing and I get a little over excited. I miss dancing at the weekend, and performing silly pirouettes with my mates as we lark around on the dance floor. So, to go the best part of a year with no physical contact whatsoever is quite surreal…like everything else about 2020, I guess.
Touch, both platonic and romantic, is such a powerful means of expression, allowing us to communicate, and build trust and empathy with others. But more importantly, it’s comforting and makes us feel good - producing hormones like serotonin and oxytocin. It’s also shown to relieve stress and improve our immune system.
It’s no surprise we crave it.
I think when you’re on your own, you really miss those fleeting moments of affection in a day-to-day context. I, for one, definitely took for granted all the hand holding, hugs, and so on that I was accustomed to during my last relationship.
It’s no wonder we get butterflies when we experience those intoxicating ‘firsts’ with a person that we’re attracted to. Whether it’s your knees brushing, your fingers gently touching when you do something as unremarkable as pass them a drink or, of course, sharing your first kiss. It feels like you’re making a meaningful connection.
Contact with another human really does feel like a big deal - figuratively and literally speaking - especially when you’re on your own. And this has been amplified during lockdown because it’s one of the main things we simply can’t do.
As one of my close friends said to me, these kind of interactions “warm the little heart” which is so true. It seems almost ironic that the one time we would truly appreciate real human contact is the one time that, for many of us, it’s completely out of our reach.
With social distancing sticking around for a long time to come, there’s nothing us lonesome folk can realistically do to combat this affection deficit, besides investing in a really cosy teddy to hug when you go to sleep - something I highly recommend 🐻
October 27 - November 2 mixtape
Quote of the week
This week’s quote comes from Anthony Middleton, who is the chief instructor in Channel 4’s SAS Who Dares Wins - a series I’m obsessed with! I think this really resonates right now, as we’re all in a situation beyond our control, so it’s up to us to define that situation and not let it define us.
Tweet of the week
There’s a Friends meme for everything, isn’t there? This tweet made me smile at the weekend…