New year, new me? No, thanks
Change is more than a date in your diary
The excitement of Christmas Day is over. My Christmas tree selfie is on Instagram, I have a fridge stuffed with salted caramel profiteroles and fizz, and I’m flopped on the sofa in my new fleecy loungewear with dark chocolate stacked on my coffee table.
Yes, I’m officially in the blissful lull between Christmas and New Year. A land of nothingness, where I’m caught between the year that’s been and the one that’s about to unfold.
Amidst this cosiness and quietness draped in fairy lights and remnants of tinsel, I’ve become hyper-reflective and have started pondering what 2022 might hold.
Don’t worry though, I’m not going to share one of those ‘year in review’ posts, where I detail my accomplishments and life lessons from the last 12 months. I’m all too aware of my ups and downs, my personal wins and mistakes, the moments that made me smile and the conversations that broke my heart a little. I don’t need to lay bare everything in this newsletter, as I’m sure you’ll be too busy curating your own list to even care about mine.
The new year is always touted as a chance to start afresh and finally tackle our imperfections and shortfalls. It’s as if a more desirable and improved version of ourselves magically appears come midnight on 31 December, like Cinderella in reverse.
But this idea of a ‘new year, new you’ is problematic.
Firstly, it implies we need to become someone new. That who we are right now isn’t good enough. That we need to be healthier, fitter, more productive in our spare time, succeed in our career, earn more money, travel to Insta-worthy destinations, boost our social life, say yes to every opportunity that comes our way, fall in love…and basically have it all. According to the threads that have been choking up my Twitter feed lately, it’s all within our reach and January is the month to set it in motion.
Every aspect of our lives is up for scrutiny when it comes to the ‘new year, new you’ mantra. Most of the time, it’s society setting these expectations, telling us we should do more, achieve more, and be more. But are these ‘resolutions’ what we truly want or do they just stir up discontent? I think we need to step back from the noise on social media, stop comparing ourselves to others, and figure out our own wants and needs, and then list the tangible steps that will help get us there.
Secondly, this outlook puts far too much pressure on one date. If you don’t kickstart your goals straight away, will you have failed at 2022 from the get-go? Should you write off the following 11 months and wait for that squeaky clean slate to come around again next NYE?
I don’t buy into this at all. We can start, stop, and re-start again any time we like. We shouldn’t pin everything on one month. Instead, we should do something today, tomorrow or whenever we feel like we’re in the right mindset to do so. It just needs to be something small that drags your personal or professional goals out of your head and into the real world.
We’re all a work in progress - and I’ve still got lots of things to learn and accomplish. As soon as I tick off one goal, something else will no doubt catch my attention and imagination, and before I know it, I’ll be scribbling down new ideas in my notebook.
For me, 2022 isn’t about a sparkly new me. It’s about building on the version of me that’s saying goodbye to 2021, and taking on board everything I’ve learnt over the last 12 months and the 30+ years before that.
It’s a new year but the same old Alexis, and I’m more than happy with that revelation as I endure the Chrimbo limbo for a few extra days.
Thank you 🙏
I want to say thank you to everyone who has read my newsletter, subscribed, pressed the little love heart on my articles, and shared my content this year.
This newsletter has unexpectedly become a pandemic diary of sorts, and has helped me work through my thoughts and feelings about everything from post-lockdown dating and what I love about being single to living more in the moment and everything else in between - including potato peelers!
I really appreciate your support and I’m looking forward to sharing more of my ramblings and mishaps with you next year. I’m always looking for ideas on things to share in my ‘mixtape’ section too, so feel free to tag me into your favourite quotes, podcasts, newsletters, books, articles and other inspiring content on Twitter @Alexis_R_F.
In the meantime, I’ll be toasting the New Year in style with a few cocktails for a change! I hope you all have a great one this weekend! 🎉
My top 5 most-read newsletters this year:
#5 - Who cares?
#4 - Now or forever?
#3 - Back to the start
#2 - 5 years single - here’s what I’ve learnt
And the top spot goes to… I think I’ve forgotten how to kiss*
(*Update, turns out I hadn’t forgotten after all!)
December 27 mixtape
Newsletter
My former colleague Kelly Dent has launched The Kelly Edit, a newsletter all about words. Her sassy style makes learning about grammar a breeze. If you love your em dashes - Kelly is your gal!
Quote
“Confidence attracts confidence. If you exude that you can do something, people believe that you can.”
Deborah Meaden (Speaking at ATOMICON21)
Podcast
Defiant Optimism is a new podcast from grant-giving charity Smiley Movement telling the stories of everyday heroes who raise awareness and money for causes close to their hearts. Very uplifting!
Brilliant as always! Hope you had a great Christmas and look forward to more readings in the new year.