Don’t you love it when you get to (virtually) meet the author of a book you’re currently reading? You can finally attribute a real voice and personality to their words, almost like making a new friend and having a lil’ conversation with them as you flick from one page to the next.
Well, that’s what happened last week. I attended an online event hosted by Ladies, Wine & Design - a global network with a ‘chapter’ in Newcastle that looks to empower women and non-binary creatives.
The group interviewed Stefanie Sword-Williams, the author of F*ck Being Humble: Why self-promotion isn’t a dirty word. I had bought her book a few weeks ago and even featured it in my newsletter’s Mixtape.
In her Q&A, Stefanie shared her thoughts and insights on everything from imposter syndrome and career progression to self-belief and - what lies at the heart of her book - having the confidence to shout about your abilities and achievements (something I’m soo terrible at doing!).
She was such an engaging speaker, super confident yet down to earth. And her straight-talking hour-long interview had me nodding along in agreement and scribbling down lots of notes and anecdotes.
Stefanie’s remark about our ‘what’s next’ culture really resonated with me though.
She said that we don’t let our achievements sink in. We let those moments of success pass us by, and we don’t fully immerse ourselves in them. Instead, we’re always moving onto our next goal and forever chasing something new.
And I’d have to agree.
The problem with a relentless pattern of churning out a list of wants and ticking them off one by one is that nothing is ever quite enough. After a while, the buzz from each accomplishment doesn’t quite hit the spot and we’re never truly satisfied. Just look at P.T Barnum in The Greatest Showman and you’ll know exactly what I mean (yep, I might have just been looking for an excuse to feature a GIF of Hugh Jackman here…).
I blame social media. We have far too much to compare ourselves to. All it takes is a few minutes on apps like Instagram and, a few picture-perfect home interiors, family beach walks, exciting blogging collaborations later, I’m a twisted mess of envy, self-doubt, and sheer inadequacy. I’ll think to myself: I want that. When really, most of the time - I really don’t want that ‘thing’ I’m obsessing over on a little square grid, and I certainly don’t want to make the sacrifices that the other person made to get said ‘thing’. In the midst of this, I’ll lose sight of my own achievements - stuff, I’m sure, someone else is poring over and wishing for.
Don’t get me wrong, I think that goal-setting is important. After spending my early 30s bumbling along, as I put it - I know how it feels to have no clear-cut goals in your life and how lost that can make you feel.
Goals are baby steps towards bigger dreams. They lead to new opportunities, personal growth, and fulfillment. In other words: happiness.
For me, even small goals (like doing three home workouts a week and aiming to cut down my marshmallow intake…both still a work in progress) give me something to focus on. And, boy, I’ve needed that during lockdown!
Sometimes though, I’m guilty of fixating too much on the end result, and I fail to enjoy the meandering journey that takes me there. I then fall into the trap of not appreciating my achievements once they do happen.
To curb this apathy, Stefanie suggests jotting down your personal wins, however insignificant they may seem, to remind yourself of all the things you achieve day-to-day. This will give you the space you need - and deserve - to celebrate those mini achievements and find greater contentment in your life.
Now, that’s a goal I can definitely get on board with.
February 1 mixtape
Quote of the week
This week’s quote comes from Michaela Alexis, a ‘Millennial LinkedIn Trainer and Coach’. Her advice is always timely and more often than not, cuts through the sh*t on my feed.
Post of the week
Another one from LinkedIn! This was a concept developed by a marketing student called Geena Carty - it’s the ‘Marketing Cocktail Bar’. Obviously, it caught my eye one afternoon as I was contemplating on whether to fill up my ice cube tray in prep for a little after-work drink, so I thought I’d share two of her ‘cocktails’ - shaken up with various marketing-related ingredients.