Nope, my headline isn’t littered with typos. It’s my attempt to emulate my mum’s Scottish accent for you, so you can imagine her barking these words down the phone at me.
If I had a pound for every time she’s recited this line throughout my life – usually trying to perk me up after another one of those ‘my world is about to end’ disappointments - I’d be social distancing from my own little piece of paradise right now.
This saying popped into my head last week after watching a countdown of Britain’s best rom-coms, which featured one of my favourite films, Sliding Doors.
What I love about this film is that it’s based on something so ordinary; whether or not the main character, Helen, played by Gwyneth Paltrow, catches her train home. If you haven't seen it - the film splinters at this precise moment, with two plots playing out on-screen simultaneously.
In one, we see Helen catching the train and walking in on her partner, Gerry, in bed with another woman. We then see how she moves on from her heartbreak, which includes the obligatory post-breakup haircut (cleverly helping viewers to distinguish between the parallel stories) and finding love with someone new. In the other, she misses the train, gets mugged, and doesn’t arrive home in time to catch Gerry in the act, and continues to be oblivious to his affair. But which path, ultimately, has the better outcome? (I won’t share any spoilers, just in case!)
It got me thinking about small and seemingly unremarkable moments from my own life that, in hindsight, actually played a starring role in something much bigger.
Take moving to Newcastle, for example.
People always ask me, how did you end up here? My reply is pretty straightforward – I went to Newcastle University and loved it so much that I stayed after graduating.
But, actually, I have a boy band to thank for this decision.
Back in the year 1999, my sister and I were huge fans of pop group 911 – the trio behind hits like Bodyshakin, Don’t Make Me Wait and A Little Bit More. To mark the launch of their greatest hits album, the group embarked on a number of in-store appearances across the UK, and the nearest event to us was taking place here in Newcastle. So we thought, let’s go!
We got up in the middle of the night and my sister drove us down in time to join a giddy queue of young girls on Northumberland Street from something like 8.30am. The journey was worth it though, as we got to meet them – albeit for something fleeting like 20 seconds - and leave with our autographed CDs. Remember, this was life pre-social media so seeing your favourite pop stars - outside of a TV interview, magazine spread, or performing on stage - was a rare thing.
We then spent the rest of the day exploring the city. And I just had the best vibe from wandering around – an excitable butterfly-like tingle in my tummy. Once we stumbled across Newcastle University’s campus across the road from Haymarket, with its gorgeous architecture and bustling Students’ Union - that was it; I was sold.
Newcastle was top of my list when the time came for me to make my UCAS application; I knew it was where I wanted to be. I can still remember the day I tore open my letter emblazoned with the university’s logo, confirming my unconditional offer to study geography. I was ridiculously happy, and I knew it would be life changing.
But, if I hadn’t gone to that record signing, Newcastle would never ever have crossed my mind as a place to come and study. St Andrews had been my preference, and I was accepted onto the course there, too. As it happens, I would have been in the same year group as Prince William, who ended up switching to geography. Now, there’s a what if moment...
Let’s fast-forward to 2008, when I met my now ex.
A few of my friends used to meet up most Thursdays after work for a couple of low key drinks, and so one week in late September, I decided to join them in city centre pub The Bacchus. On that particular night, one of my friends brought along his flatmate, aka my boyfriend-to-be.
This was the first time we properly met, and I instantly liked him once we started chatting. I say ‘properly’ as it later emerged we had crossed paths on a few previous occasions, when I used to go and see my friend’s band play around Newcastle (my ex was the drummer in said band) but we had never even noticed each other before.
Messages via Facebook soon followed and we ended up going on our first date that December to see Four Christmases at the cinema. And we were together for the next seven and a half years.
Chances are, we may have encountered more of those ‘same time, same place’ moments, but still passing each other by. Or we may have eventually got talking. Who knows? But grabbing that swift drink after work proved to be another small yet significant decision.
The problem with scrutinising decisions like these though, is that you can develop FOMO and blow your mind with all the possibilities that could arise from one simple action.
Sometimes I feel this way when using dating apps - I mean, what if I accidentally swipe past the love of my life?!
This outlook can be inexplicably overwhelming.
I think it highlights why being more receptive to saying yes and embracing new opportunities can be such a positive thing, as you don’t know what the domino effect could be on you, and your life in the future.
Going back to what my mum repeatedly says, ‘what’s meant for me won’t pass me by’ - this is wrapped up in the idea that fate, destiny, or whatever you’d like to call it, actually exists.
I’m unsure if there is a grand plan already in place for each of us, but when I replay my life in my head, it is uncanny how things seem to perfectly piece together. It’s almost like they were meant to be all along, even the bits that didn’t quite work out in the end. (And I firmly believe that things don’t have to last forever to bring value to your life.)
So maybe I do need to have more faith in my mum’s advice after all…I just wonder if it still applies during a global pandemic?!
August 19 - 24 mixtape
Quote of the week
I spotted this week’s quote on my LinkedIn feed the other day, although I can’t recall who shared it. As someone who is constantly filled with self-doubt, it really chimed with me. It’s from American writer, poet and philosopher Suzy Kassem:
Doubt kills more dreams than failure ever will.
Artist of the week
Don’t you just love discovering music that’s brand new to you, but actually a few years old?! After falling down the rabbit hole that is Apple Music, I’m loving Natalie Taylor’s back catalogue at the moment. Her cover of Latch (from six years ago already) is wholly mesmerising. Love.